After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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