she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize