So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
