my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
im on a boat
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