He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
