Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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