Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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