It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
