I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
