I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
