I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize