I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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