Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
