I heard we made out
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
