Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize