Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
