dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
