Champagne is a vitamin, right?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
