what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
