Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
