no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
