I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
be right there i have to get my cape
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
