Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
