And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
