he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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