Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Houston, we have a squirter
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
