"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
only if we run a train.
done.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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