Define "chronic" masturbator.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
