Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize