I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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