I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize