you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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