...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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