I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
