is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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