I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
