I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
