fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
