No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
