To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
