Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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