I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
