I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
