This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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