isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
