some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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