I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize