I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
