Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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