Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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