he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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