Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize