Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
