Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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