so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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