ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
