pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
