i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
