it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
