he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
