is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
