Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
