Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Fred_Brown hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.

Fav 16 1169 3809
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Why are we friends again?

Fav 38 1339 3436
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.

Fav 26 3773 1014
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...

Fav 44 3839 2261
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?

Fav 15 6469 1210
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

Fav 12 2712 3769
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.

Fav 3 2410 1828
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party

Fav 4 1803 742
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.

Fav 0 15 53
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT