my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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