How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
